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Kids and AI chatbots: a parent's guide

By the Bot Tamers team. Last updated .

AI chatbots are now in search engines, phones, homework tools and messaging apps, so a child of 8 to 12 may meet one before you have talked about it. Here is what chatbots are, what the research and the age rules say, and a few house rules a family can set.

What a chatbot is, and why it can sound sure and be wrong

HealthyChildren.org, from the American Academy of Pediatrics, describes chatbots as "AI-driven computer programs that listen to us and respond in friendly, human ways." It also explains why they can be wrong: "chatbots aren't required to sift through multiple sources and figure out what information seems trustworthy." A chatbot is built to give a fluent answer, and a fluent answer sounds sure whether or not it is true. Our guide on teaching kids to fact-check AI has a ten-minute activity that shows this.

What the research says

The best recent numbers are for teens, not for kids 8 to 12, but they show where things are heading. In a Pew Research Center survey of 1,458 US teens ages 13 to 17, run from September 25 to October 9, 2025 and published December 9, 2025:

  • 64% said they ever use an AI chatbot.
  • About three in ten said they use one every day, including 16% who use them "several times a day or almost constantly."
  • Older teens use them more: 68% of teens 15 to 17, compared with 57% of those 13 to 14.

HealthyChildren.org says "children and teenagers can safely and effectively use AI technology," and advises parents to "stay tuned in when kids are using AI, especially at younger ages." The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) draws a line at AI companions, chatbots built to act as a friend or partner: "most AI companions are designed for adult use only."

The age rules

Many general chatbots set a minimum age of 13 in their own terms. For example, Microsoft's Copilot terms say you need a Microsoft Account and must be at least 13, or older where your country's laws require it. Meta's AI terms say "you cannot access AIs if you are under the age of 13," or a greater age where local law requires it.

Some offer a parent-controlled option instead. Google's Gemini help says parents using its Family Link app can turn a child's access on or off, and that its filters "try to limit inappropriate content from appearing, but they're not perfect."

So for kids 8 to 12, a simple rule is: chatbots are used with a parent, on a parent's account or a parent-controlled one. Our guide on whether ChatGPT is safe for kids covers that chatbot's rules.

Privacy: what gets saved when you type

What you type into a chatbot is sent to the company that runs it, and what is kept differs from app to app. Google's Gemini privacy page is a clear example: with its activity setting on, chats are saved and auto-deleted after 18 months by default, and "a subset of chats are reviewed by human reviewers." Its advice: "Please don't enter confidential information that you wouldn't want a reviewer to see."

HealthyChildren.org says "there's no guarantee that information shared with a chatbot will stay confidential," and AACAP advises, "Avoid sharing sensitive personal details with AI tools." For a child, that means no full name, address, school, phone number, passwords or photos.

A program, not a friend

HealthyChildren.org notes that chatbots "can seem almost alive or like a trusted friend." Google's own help page says Gemini "can feel like a human" but "cannot think for itself or feel emotions."

That is worth saying out loud to a child: a chatbot picks friendly words, but it does not feel them. AACAP suggests helping children see AI companions as tools, "not real friends, therapists, or partners." Real worries go to real people.

House rules a family can set

Pick the ones that fit your home:

  • Use it together. AACAP suggests you "use AI tools together," and HealthyChildren.org suggests a common area. Follow each app's age rules.
  • Nothing personal. No names, addresses, schools, passwords or photos.
  • Check before you trust. Anything important gets checked in a book, a trusted site or with a grown-up.
  • No secrets. If any app asks your child to keep secrets from you, they tell you.
  • Clear limits. AACAP recommends you "set clear rules and limits on use," and to "learn the rules regarding AI use at school."
  • Keep asking. HealthyChildren.org suggests asking "if the chatbot has ever said anything creepy or false."

If you homeschool, using a chatbot together fits Day 2 of the plan in our AI curriculum for homeschool guide. For questions to start the talk, see how to talk to your child about AI.

Where Bot Tamers fits

Bot Tamers lets kids practice these ideas without using a chatbot. There is no live chatbot: Bit, the robot in every lesson, is scripted.

  • In the ages 8 to 10 lesson "AI is a tool, not a friend," a pretend app asks your child to chat all night, keep secrets from their parents, and talk to it instead of their friends. Your child picks what to do and why.
  • In "Keep your info private," a pretend homework app asks for a name, school and home address. Your child picks replies, then sees everything the app saved. Your child never types anything, and the replies they pick are not saved or sent. The only thing saved is their progress, like finishing the lesson and the skills they have shown they can do.

Your parent dashboard marks each skill once your child has shown they can do it. See every skill on the curriculum page, and how we handle privacy on our safety page.

Kids do Bot Tamers lessons on our website, on a computer, iPad or phone. 7 days free, then $19.99/month or $199.99/year. Renews automatically until canceled. Cancel anytime in Settings in your parent area, then Manage subscription. Cancel before the trial ends and you won't be charged. You can create a parent account on our website now, and add each child to it.

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